


well i love the house that we live in

by theyarenotfree



Series: creepy crawly chronicles [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Cute, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, M/M, i wanted to post something, idk - Freeform, its literally all fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-02
Updated: 2014-09-02
Packaged: 2018-02-15 20:41:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2242833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theyarenotfree/pseuds/theyarenotfree
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>“Harry, we have an emergency. Code red, code fucking red.” Louis whispered because the creature could be listening in on him right now.</em>
</p>
<p>  <em>“Louis? Are you okay? What’s wrong? Why are you whispering?”</em></p>
<p>  <em>“There is a mouse in the flat, Harold. I saw it with my own eyes-a furry, evil little shit and it’s trying to kill me. Also, I spilled all my crisps on the floor.”</em></p>
<p> <br/>(or there is a mouse in harry and louis' flat and louis is totally the man in the relationship)</p>
            </blockquote>





	well i love the house that we live in

**Author's Note:**

> tbh i just wanted to post something. this is so bad and short and i wrote this in like two hours. it's based off of a true story bc there was aCTUALLY A MOUSE IN MY ROOM. it was the most traumatic experience ever. idk. enjoy. thank you for reading. ilysm. title from the song antichrist by the 1975 bc i love love love that song.

Louis had been ignoring the little brown droppings on the floor for weeks. It’s not like he was doing it on purpose. He meant to tell Harry, honestly. It’s just that Harry was busy with his new beard and Louis found himself home alone a lot more and Netflix was fucking addicting, really.

 

It happened in the middle of an episode of Doctor Who.

 

Louis was halfway through a bag of crisps and Harry was out on a “date” for the day. Everything happened so fast, Louis couldn’t even believe it. He saw a little gray blur out of the corner of his eye and then he was screaming and standing on the couch with his feet sinking into the cushions. His phone was in his hand and dialing within seconds.

 

“Lou?”

 

“Harry, we have an emergency. Code red, code fucking red.” Louis whispered because the creature could be listening in on him right now.

 

“Louis? Are you okay? What’s wrong? Why are you whispering?”

 

“There is a mouse in the flat, Harold. I saw it with my own eyes-a furry, evil little shit and it’s trying to kill me. Also, I spilled all my crisps on the floor.”

 

“Are you sure? It wasn’t just your imagination? You aren’t high, right?”

 

“No, Harry. Jesus, if I was high I would be having a beer with the mouse. Now please save me before this thing bites me in the eyeball.”

 

Harry snorted and “okay, Lou. I’ll be there in twenty.”

 

“Bring guns and that rat poisoning shit and more crisps please, I love you.”

 

“Love you too, babe. Watch what you say. The mouse might hear you and bite you and turn you into Mouseman or something.”

 

“That is so not a real thing. I’m hanging up on you.”

 

Louis hung up on him.

 

Luckily Doctor Who was still playing because Louis didn’t move a muscle and it was the longest twenty minutes of his life.

 

Harry stumbled through the door with about a million grocery bags. He immediately ran to the couch and scanned the floors. After spotting nothing, he turned to Louis.

 

“Are you alright? Any more sightings?”

 

Louis shook his head quickly. Harry pulled Louis into his chest. Kissed the top of his head.

 

“Let’s catch this fucker.”

 

Harry pulled out fourteen cruelty-free mousetraps (of fucking course), peanut butter, peppermint oil, a new bag of crisps and a six-pack of beer.

 

“What the hell.”

 

Harry smiled sheepishly and Louis’ mouth was hanging open. The fond look in his eyes gave him away.

 

“Wanna help me set these up, Lou?”

 

Louis scoffed and sat down on the couch, not letting his feet anywhere near the floor.

 

“You’re joking. You didn’t bring any guns. Plus you’re the one wearing shoes here.”

 

Harry rolled his eyes and looked around the room again, taking a deep breath. Louis loved him so much. He pulled Harry down by the back of his neck and gave him a firm peck.

 

“Good luck out there, soldier.”

 

“Wow, thanks.” Harry said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

 

“Actually I change my mind. The mouse can have you.”

 

Harry actually laughed as he cautiously walked around the room, placing traps wherever he saw fit.

 

“I’ll remember that next time you come to me, screaming because there’s a spider on the wall.” Harry’s voice sounded muffled as he left the room to set more traps.

 

Louis smiled. He had to. He couldn’t _not_ smile when he was with Harry.

 

After five minutes, all the traps were set with a bit of peanut butter. Because apparently mice liked peanut butter now. Louis made a comment about the lack of cheese and Harry began to explain until he was interrupted because “at least now you won’t feel obliged to use all of your awful cheese puns.”

 

Harry was slipping off his shoes and settling into the couch. He whined.

 

“ _Louis_. My cheese puns are _grate_.”

 

Louis stared at Harry for a full minute before he spoke.

 

“Did you really just say that?”

 

Harry blushed, which was cuter than it should’ve been. His dimple was making Louis’ head spin.

 

“I think it would’ve worked better if I had wrote it down. Want me to write it down for you?”

 

Louis rolled his eyes and launched himself at Harry. They fell backwards and he rested his head on Harry’s chest and their legs tangled and Louis felt like he hadn’t properly talked to his boyfriend in ages.

 

“Shut up.” Louis mumbled against Harry’s shirt.

 

They cuddled together, all close and warm, until Harry insisted that they clean up the crisps on the floor or they’ll have ants too, which would make Louis cry like a baby. And they did not want that.

 

So Harry cleaned the floor while making as little contact with it as he possibly could. Louis helped by tugging on Harry’s curls and tickling him when his guard was down. Louis was totally the man in this relationship.

 

“But what the hell is this for?” Louis asked, picking up the bottle of peppermint oil.

 

Harry took the bottle from Louis. “I read online that mice hate the smell of this stuff. So they’ll stay away or something like that.”

 

He dripped the oil in a big circle around the couch, like the mouse was actually a demon and the minty oil was like holy water or some shit. Louis watches too much TV.

 

Harry sat down again and Louis sneezed.

 

“Bless you.”

 

He sneezed again.

 

“Bless you.”

 

“It’s the damn oil.”

 

“You sound like a baby kitten when you sneeze.”

 

Louis put on his annoyed face.

 

“Well you _are_ a baby kitten.”

 

Harry bit his lip and threw his arms around Louis’ waist. He buried his face in his neck and nuzzled his nose against Louis’ collarbone. Harry’s hair got in Louis’ mouth and before he could complain, Harry licked a strip up Louis’ neck.

 

“Meow.” He whispered.

 

“I think I’ve discovered a new kink.”

 

Harry barked out one of his special laughs and he wrapped his whole body around Louis. No mice could get him here. He was safe. They napped with the sound of Doctor Who in the background. Three episodes later, Louis had to piss.

 

“Harry.”

 

Harry groaned.

 

“Hey. Curly-Wurly-Harry-Beary-Hazza-Wazza.”

 

Harry groaned louder.

 

“Harold. I have to piss.”

 

“Then go piss, Louis.”

 

“But the mouse.”

 

“You can wear my shoes.”

 

“But what if I trip, Harry, please. Can you carry me?”

 

“I have a greater chance of tripping if I carry you than if you wear my shoes.”

 

Louis moved so he was sitting on Harry’s chest. Harry was being way too logical.

 

“Who fucking cares. I have to piss and the mouse is out to get me.”

 

Harry hid his smile as he pushed Louis off him and pulled his shoes on. He lifted Louis up, bridal style, and Louis clung to him like his life depended on it.

 

Harry walked them both into the bathroom and shut the door quickly.

 

“Uhm. Harry. I have to actually use the bathroom. I thought you were supposed to be the considerate gentleman who always respected people and gave them privacy when appropriate.”

 

Harry sat on the counter with his legs crossed, making faces into the mirror. “Too bad, so sad. I’m not standing in the hallway by myself with no protection. If you want a ride back to the couch, then I’m staying. Besides, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”

 

Louis was going to get back at him somehow. Having the upper hand was something that was very important to Louis. Maybe it would involve a slingshot and the body of the mouse.

 

On the way back to the couch, Louis was in the middle of explaining his plan to fill water guns with peppermint oil when the demonic rodent appeared out of nowhere and scampered across the room. Harry nearly dropped Louis and they both screamed, loud enough to scare all the neighbors. Harry had leaped back onto the couch and pulled a blanket over both boys.

 

“Holy shit.”

 

“I told you I told you I told you.”

 

“It ran so fast.”

 

“Fucking spawn of Satan, damn it.”

 

Harry pulled Louis into his lap and his eyes darted all over the floor.

 

“Do you think it’s watching us?” Louis whispered, his hands balled up tightly in Harry’s shirt.

 

“Probably. Starburst is an evil one, he is.”

 

Louis froze, furrowing his eyebrows, and giving Harry an incredulous look.

 

“ _Starburst_? What the fuck.”

 

Harry shrugged.

 

“Did you _name_ the mouse, Harold?”

 

“Do you like Sprinkles or Chester better?”

 

“I.”

 

They stared each other down. Harry’s eyes were shining in the way that should let Louis know he was kidding but _really_? _Starburst_?

 

Then they were laughing and Louis’ eyes went all soft and crinkly. They muffled their laughter against the couch cushions and they rolled around until they ended up kissing. And it was all cute and lovey and not caring about the mouse in the flat.

 

They pulled apart and smiled some more and started drinking the beers Harry bought. They teased each other and got crumbs on their clothes and Louis really really loved this boy.

 

Louis’s phone rang after two and a half beers.

 

“’Ello?”

 

“Louis? What are you up to?”

 

“Hey Zayn. Hazza came home early. We had a bit of an emergency.”

 

“Is it a sex thing again? I can call back later…”

 

Louis chuckled. “Nah, mate. You wouldn’t believe it. There is a fucking mouse in our flat. Like a real live mouse.”

 

“No way. What did you guys do?”

 

Louis heard Liam’s voice through the phone, followed by Niall’s loud laugh. He smiled to himself.

 

“We set some traps. Dunno. We’ll see, I guess.”

 

The line went quiet. Harry was running his hand up and down Louis’ back, through his hair, making Louis melt into the touch.

 

“Why don’t you guys call an exterminator or something?”

 

Louis froze. Harry’s hands stilled and he raised an eyebrow at Louis’ expression.

 

“You’re brilliant. Thank you so much Zayn. We would all be dead if it weren’t for you.”

 

He hung up before he could hear Zayn respond, and was searching for the number for an exterminator within seconds. Harry peaked at what Louis was doing on his phone and groaned when he realized how stupid they were.

 

They were so so stupid.

 

The exterminator had found the mouse caught in one of Harry’s traps and left after ten minutes. His name was Larry and Harry and Louis had giggled the whole time he’d been searching for the mouse.

 

When he left they collapsed on the couch, hands clasped together and lips fitting like puzzle pieces. They smiled into each other’s mouths and Louis nibbled Harry’s nose until he couldn’t hold back a smile.

 

Zayn didn’t call back but both Harry and Louis received about a hundred texts, mainly the mouse emoji, from the other three boys.

 

They fell asleep to the glow of the TV and woke up when Louis screeched because “there’s a fucking spider on the ceiling, Harry! Fuck fuckity fuck cakes. Wake up, it’s going to kill us! Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Fucking save me.”

**Author's Note:**

> please comment what you thought. i haven't written/posted in a while and could use the criticism. also let me know if you spot any spelling mistakes. it's one in the morning right now so. thank you again for reading! xx.


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